The months of vomiting and nausea are just a hazy distant memory. The second he was born, everything snapped back to normal. These last 7 weeks with Akko in my life has been anything but normal, it's been extraordinary.
As I sit here typing, I still can't believe a perfect little baby boy lay sleeping in a moses basket next to me. I did it! I really did. My HG prize, if you can believe my luck, is the cutest baby in the whole world - a little mini Mike.
To every first time HG mama, I was you. I am you. With your PICC lines and feeding tubes, I see you. When the world closes in, I see you. When you are too tired to cry but feel so utterly alone and isolated and altogether sick, I see you. When you have thrown up the 60th time in one day and contemplate terminating a pregnancy that you prayed for, I did that. You are brave and strong. Stronger than you ever would dare to describe yourself. You are a warrior who is fighting for your unborn babe, more bitterly than most moms have to. You are one in a million (literally, we are that 2%). You can do this! You will hold your miracle in your arms one day and feel elation you could never have dreamed possible. Happy Mother's Day to you.
To mama on their 2nd/3rd/etc HG pregnancy. You are my hero. You have chosen, knowing full well what awaits you, to create, carry, and birth ANOTHER HG baby. You have chosen them over you. You have chosen their life over your health. You have chosen sickness, heartache, isolation, judgment, pain, and a daily torture so intense I still don't know how I was able to do it, just the first time. You have chosen to do it again. You are who I hope to be when I look into my son's eyes. I want to be a mom more times over. One day soon, I hope I can be brave enough to step into your shoes. Happy Mother's Day to you.
To My Dear Akko,
I blinked and you are already 7 weeks. I kiss you a hundred times a day, on your cheek and nose, under your chin and gently on your eyelids. 7 wonderful weeks you've made me a mama, a title I bare with pride and a strength I didn't know I had. Exactly a week ago, you broke out in a wide grin after one of those hundred kisses and I couldn't believe my eyes. I repeated it 2 more times and you smiled each time. It is clear to me that my baby is a genius.
All of the sudden, you're not a newborn anymore. All of the sudden, you responded to me. You made my heart skip a GIANT beat. I've never cried so loudly, consistently, continually, and bitterly as I have these last 7 weeks. I cried with worry and exhaustion. Now that you are here, I cannot imagine a life without you. Now that you're in my arms, I never ever want to let go. When you screamed out during your one month vaccination, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I sobbed silently into my own cupped hands because I've never felt such piercing pain as your cries pierced my soul.
In these 7 weeks I've also cried tears of unadulterated joy. I've never known such delight every time I look into your eyes, feel your warmth, and smell your scent. I've never known perfection could exist in something so small but indeed you are. On my first Mother's Day, all I want is you. On this Mother's Day, I have everything.
Love, Mama
Happy Mother's Day to All
Every medical staff during labor/delivery and in postpartum asked us about his name...so here you go. FULL explanation in this little clip